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Sandra Spieker (Ringo)
To whoever suggested I purchase the book, The 36 Hour Day, I thank you. David sent me a message late yesterday that someone, who wished to remain anomymous, suggested this book. This morning I reviewed the book on Amazon and purchased it for my Kindle. Some of the chapter titles looked helpful. This book is a. "Family Guide to Caring for People Who Have Alzheimer Disease, Related Dementias, and Memory Loss", according to the title, for those of you who are curious.
Taking care of my 95 year old mother has it's challenges, that is an understatement. My mother has some age related dementia. She does not have Alzheimer's. For those of you who wonder why I don't put my mother in a group home (not any around here), or a nursing home (they suck at care, are shorthanded right now and filled with cases of Covid), I am sure she would be dead within 3 months or less if I did. That being said, the times I did have her in a nursing home, which has been twice in the last year, I paid close attention to what exactly they were doing there that made the price tag and care so special. Both of the nursing homes she was in did not allow her to get up out of bed unless there was either a nurse or a PT in the room to assist her. So, as a result, she stayed in bed most of a 24 hour period. Only when she had to get up to go to the bathroom, most of the time, it was too late anyway (in a portable potty by the bed - less than a foot away), or to attend a PT session (30 minutes two or three times a week if you are lucky) did she get out of bed. As a result she forgot how to walk with a walker and got progressively weaker. The reason they do this, is obvious, fall risk. The next thing that happens is the diet. Granted my mother is picky, she likes her food hot, piping hot. The food is never piping hot, again, burn risk, so it is always luke warm, even the coffee, tea or whatever. As a result, she turns down most of the food or severely limits her intake, because it tastes bland and is cold by the time she gets it. Then they administer the "protein drink", because she is not eating properly. I say it in quotes because it is not a tall glass of anything generally tasteful. It is tart, sweet, concentrated in a tiny paper cup, which mother hated and turned this down too. I delivered Ensure to compensate. They stored it on the other side of the room, mother could not get to it and the staff did not remember to give it to her. On weekends the staff changes and is less than hospitable. No bathing, no PT, and less hot food. Weekends suck. When mother refused the food she got on weekends, she got the peanut butter sandwich, which, before she got in a nursing home she enjoyed, now she hates them. Enough said.
Since I have had her at home, she can walk. Slowly and carefully but none the less, it is walking and she does this, when she wants to and as long as she wants to. I have gotten well versed in PT techniques with seniors. I should get a consulting job at some point....When she is tired, she calls me and I wheel her around while she sits in her walker. She can wash herself, and dress herself. Both things are impossible in the nursing home, her clothes are too far away for her to get on her own there, as is bathing. She is warmer here. I have an oil heater in her room, which we use during the day, not at night. The food here is hot, served where and when she wants it. She has choices of not only what to eat, but when too. She is on less medication here than in a nursing home. No sleeping pills or "nevous pills" as she called them. Also on less blood pressure medication too. I have also it seems conquered the UTI infection issue. My mother now understands how to clean herself again. The nursing home takes that responsiblility away from residents. I will leave the explaination of that to your imagination. I have two poles set up for her. They are called "transfer poles" and look like the ones you might see in a strip bar, except there is a nice handle to grab hold of. One is right beside her bed, the other is in the bathroom, where once monthly (don't be shocked - I gave into mother on this one) she gets a shower. Long story.
I know, you may ask, "Are you worried she might fall?". Duh, of course. But her freedom and control over her own body are more important at this point. Right now she has quality, and some mental stimulation. She reads her Kindle, I make sure her device is well charged and ready to use (mostly at night if she can't sleep).
If the day comes that my mother can no longer walk, I will have to send her off to the meat factory - er, nursing home. I can't deal with her if she can't walk. Until then, it is what it is.
I would love to hire someone to come in once a week to relieve me. Right now, I don't want to because of the pandemic. The vaccination rate in Parker county is around 45%. The booster is less than that. People around here don't wear masks at all. Not only that, but the locals don't post the case numbers any more, or the death rate. So who knows what is happening. Out of sight, out of mind. My guess is that the primary is coming up and no one wants to spoil that with Covid statistics. Mother is vaccinated, but she could still get this crap. So if this pandemic goes endemic, or away, the first task I will have is find a decent caregiver once a week so I can go out a play again. That would be nice.
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Maybe we can sit around a camp fire and laugh and cry.
