The Message Forum is an ongoing dialogue among classmates. The goal is to encourage friendly interaction, including interaction among classmates who really didn't know each other. Experience on the site has revealed that certain topics tend to cause friction and hard feelings, especially politics and religion. 

Although politics and religion are not completely off-limits, classmates are asked to be positive in their posts and not to be too repetitive or allow a dialog to degenerate into an argument. 

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David Cordell

Steve,

I admire your using "an" before eulogy, but I have taken the approach that if the sound of the start of the word sounds like a consonant, it gets an "a" for the article.

Lowell, 

Thanks for making me feel exceedingly healthy by comparison.

Sandra,

Of course, I honor life from the very elderly, to the unborn. It is Democrat Ezekial Emanuel, MD who needs to be instructed on the importance of our elderly folks. That said, they/we really suck up a lot of the health care expenses.

All,

While watching The Masters last weekend, I was reminded of an issue that has supplanted the national political dialogue in my mind. Namely, the use of footies.

I have been a reluctant convert to footies. Indeed, I am more of an agnostic. My early uses of footies proved unsatisfactory -- they seemed to want to slide off my heel and under my arch, or lack thereof. When I play golf in shorts, I typically wear crew socks and fold them down to tweener length -- not so long as to make me  look like a nerd, but not really short enough to look like footies. It's more like the look of a granny who just doesn't care what people think. (No offense to grannies, unless the description fits!!)

Despite these serious concerns, I have purchased a package of good quality footies, and I intend to give them a fair test when I wear shorts on the golf course.

That said, there is something about men wearing footies that troubles me deeply, and that takes me back to The Masters. I consider it an assault on the senses, at least he sense of sight, to see a man wearing footies while wearing slacks. I saw this abomination displayed on more than one professional golfer, as they flashed their bare white ankles when reaching into the cup to retrieve their golf ball.

Imagine a social occasion. A seated man wearing slacks crosses one leg over the other, unaware of flashing  twenty square inches of fish-belly white ugliness. It is unacceptable behavior. Indeed, a long time ago I began wearing over-the-calf dress socks to avoid this faux pas.

What about women? Sure. Women can wear whatever they want, although, of course, I prefer that they wear less rather than more, and I'm not referring to footies. 

David Cordell

Steve,

I have often thought about writing my own eulogy. I have written and spoken three eulogies -- father in 1997, son in 2006, and mother in 2007. Assuming that I die before Martha, I know that she would be too upset to write one. Whom does that leave?

Both of my surviving sons voted for Biden, and one of them is one of those angry progressives who bullies, browbeats, and insults people who disagree with him. At least that's how he treats me. (In fact, I briefly thought about asking for a paternity test to make sure he doesn't have any of Tommy's DNA, but I realized that Martha is very discriminating.) Anyway, if I left it up to that son to write/read a/an eulogy for me, people would would be scrambling out of the aisles, hoping that no one had seen them at the service for such an evil person.

It seems that there are two types of eulogies/obituaries. One of them is a feelings version that talks about the type of person the deceased was. His hopes and dreams, good deeds and kindnesses, funny stories. The other type is more like a resume. 

I believe it was Churchill who, when asked how history would treat him, remarked that it would treat him well since he intended to write it. And indeed he wrote a multiple volume set describing his life experiences.

I will stop short of a multiple volume eulogy. Indeed, there may not even be need for an intermission.

Janalu Jeanes (Parchman)

Do you posters think it would be tacky to go ahead and invite our Great-Aunt Beulah to our Thanksgiving dinner, as has been our custom and honor for the past 15 years, but leave off the guest list, her new husband, Seamus MacGarity, the Elgin TX butcher, although promising to send home a fully 'loaded' chinette plate of goodies and a thermos of our favorite wine, as a consolation offering?

Great-Aunt Beulah, who makes a special sweet potato pie, a treasured favorite of our family, and who delights us with her witty and salty stories of 'the good, old days of living on the farm with her parents and 13 brothers and sisters,' is SO important to our traditional Thanksgiving dinners, that we just CANNOT entertain the idea of leaving her out!  However, if we invite her new hubby, we will have a head-count above the limit of allowed visitors in our house, so we are thinking of telling her that SHE is invited as usual, but that her hubby Seamus, must bite the bullet for a few hours, until my brother drives her back home, with her special delivery dinner for the evening.

She has told us that Seamus always naps in the afternoon, so maybe we could plan her pick-up departure to come just as Seamus slips off for a doze, then when he awakens to find a note on the fridge, informing him that Beulah has gone over to a friend's house to visit, and will be back soon....well, we're figuring that he will just sit in his rocker and watch his old familiar Andy Griffith reruns, not noticing that she has gone for a turkey dinner elsewhere, until she returns with a big plate of food, just needing to be popped into the microwave for a brief warm-up!  We think he will be so enthralled with the good smells coming from the microwave, that he will just tie his big linen napkin around his neck, and head to the fridge to pour a giant glass of his usual buttermilk, then head to the dining table with a big ol' grin on his face, asking his Beulah babe to come sit with him, to chat about what she saw along the road during the afternoon trip.  She of course will oblige, sipping the wine, lighting up her little corncob pipe, and talking up a storm!

Too tacky?  Tell us what you think?  We fully expect 'the turkey police' to knock on our door at midday, demanding a head-count, so we're afraid of being fined, ridiculed, and 'blacklisted,' whereby we willl never be able to find work again, as long as Biden is in office....which as we contemplate that issue even more......might actually be only a few, very short months, by-golly, by-George!

And Lance scolds me about only writing about political stuff.......which irritates him to death..........."Fooey to fussy, curmudgeon Lance!"

Lowell Tuttle

David.  Footies.  I am size 13 (actually, 13.5 to 14.)

Footies are supposedly universal up to a 13. 

They slide off my heel like a plumber's shorts slide down to show their ...er...uh...crack.

I find them cumbersome.  I use those shorty tennis socks.  But, I have been mocked for that.   I shut them up with the big foot size angle though.

I have about 30 pairs of the same tennis crew shorty sock.  Half are in my clubhouse locker, Quarter are in teh trunk of my car and the rest are on sock drawer rotation.

By the way, nobody makes a 13.5 shoe. 

Steve Keene

Lance,

I said that I would not give your eulogy because of emotion.  You asked what would blur my vision.  In a word, Tears.

Now, I would be willing to write your epitaph.  You don't want to write your own.  Stone that rises that high in the air to fit your words is too expensive.

Wayne Gary

Janalu,

I think it would be very tackey to not invite both.  The best would be either to go over the number (since Biden will not be sending US Marshals out inforcing him whims) or to explain that in concern for everyones health you are limiting you Thanksgiving. I would be very offended to be invinted to a gathering but told to leave my wife behind. That would create more trouble in the family and with Great-Aunt Beulah.

Hull Barbee

David ......... aren't you being a little presumptuous ....... assuming there will be people at your funeral to hear your eulogy ?????? Me ....... I'm just planning for my two car funeral 

David Cordell

Billy Hull,

Well, I figure someone from the mortgage company might show up. Maybe someone from the credit union that holds our car loan. That's two.

One good thing about Martha's activity at church is that some church people will show up at my funeral to support her. On the other hand, if she dies first, we're back to the two mortgage and car people at my funeral.

Janalu,

I agree with Wayne.

Lance,

Seriously, writing a eulogy is a big responsibility, and I wouldn't wish it on my family during a time of loss with a short period to write it. Besides, if you write your own, you can include thoughts that you want to share with your spouse, children, and even friends.

Wayne Gary

Janalu,

You could do what my family is doing in scheduling a Zoom Thanksgiving.  Zoom will be free on Thanksgiving. No time limit like now of 45min free.

Janalu Jeanes (Parchman)

Wayne,

I must confess.

My post was a post of fiction.  I have no Great-Aunt Beulah.  I was just writing it to get Lance off my arse, saying that I ony write about politics and nothing else.  

Janalu Jeanes (Parchman)

Lance,

Listen to Rush Limbaugh right now.  He is giving Sidney Powell's jibbed speech that she is announcing to the nation, about how she has uncovered so much cheating that happened on election night, that the calculating machines being used, could not keep up with the info being inserted.

She, Giuliani, Joe diGenova and his wife, Victoria Toensing, are headed to court to reveal all that they found, and are still uncovering.  Other attorneys are involved too.

I've been listening to my radio all morning, as I putter around my house, by the way, as I do everyday.  I enjoy hearing intelligent people discuss all manner of subjects, not just politics, since I'm somewhat confined here, due to Covid.

As for the spirituality of our comrades, if they don't have the sense to "seek the truth that will set them free," then what the heck do you think you or I can do for them?  I've prayed from them, and I think you have too, but they have to take responsibility for themselves from here on out.  We can only do SO much..........

And when people show me they are uninterested in hearing "the truth," then I take the hint, to acknowledge, "Okay!  I'm outta' here!"

Surely anyone with a brain can see the growing intensity of hatefulness all around us everyday, and surely they know that THAT hatefulness is sown by the evil spirit that lurks everywhere, everyday, so people need to pay attention, pulling their heads our of their derrieres, so to speak, and get straight in their minds and hearts!  If they don't do it, then they suffer the consequences, right?  You and I can't save them.....

Janalu Jeanes (Parchman)

Lance,

I agree wholeheartedly and pray often, usually at numerous times of the day, as I go along, seeing disturbing actions, hearing awful statements from those around me, sensing foulness occuring at places.  I pray silently as I walk along or drive along, knowing that Our Father is always with me, hearing me, and guiding me.

I hope that everyone does the same.  It is calming and soothing to do this, I have found.

Steve Keene

Lance,

I am hurt that you do not think I care about you.  I would think you would appreciate a few amatures mourning your passing as well.  My tears would not be crocodile tears even though you are sometimes a bad egg.

Janalu Jeanes (Parchman)

Think about the very first person who ever ate an oyster.  What do you think that person was like?  What do you think were his or her thoughts as the first bite was decided upon, and why the decision was made!

Lowell Tuttle

Janalu, since man evolved from the Ape, I would imagine over the last 20,000 years or so, a monkey saw an otter or raccoon tearing into an oyster and saw them loving them..   Luckly, monkey's were great mimmicks.  So, the first monkey who had a homo sapien baby passed that skill on. 

Yeah, don't you remember?  On the 8th day God created an oyster plate special.

Also...

Giuliani's Pennsylvania legal team arrives for procedures in court...

Steve Keene

Lance

I first had rocky mountain oysters in Wyoming at Bon Rico's halfway between Evanston and Kemmerer.  I later had them at the Country Barn in Amarillo near the airport.  Tastes like veal.  I found out that I really preferred the turkey fries which were not quite as large and tastes like chicken.  I can't believe you never had the balls to try them.  I know you probably think that is just offal.

Janalu,

His first thoughts were I am starved and I am awfully sick of raw mammoth meat.

David Cordell

Lowell, ya gotta love the Stooges -- at least if you're a guy. I don't think women get it.

Lance, you said:

Seriously...why would you assume your family and friends are so inept?  Don't you think they love you enough to rise to the task?  Where is your faith in them? 

Let's be honest...it's your CV in heaven that will be read to all in attendance...is the ONLY one that counts...and rest assured it will be read accurately and fully!

God doesn't need to hear a eulogy, so I don't think He needs to be a part of the discussion. So let's consider the audience. 

My family members aren't inept. It's just that I would like for my eulogy to be written by someone who 1) actually likes me, 2) has the time to write a eulogy in a tight time frame, and 3) is inclined to take on the task. I drew a Venn diagram with all three sets of names, and no one was in the intersection. 

Besides, I think everyone should have the opportunity to say what they think is important about their completed earthly life.

Sort of separately, my youngest son whined not too long ago that we had never taken him to Disney World's Magic Kingdom. We went to Disney World about five times (had a timeshare nearby), and I know that I had been to the Magic Kingdom during at least one of those visits. But I just accepted what he said. More recently, I asked Martha if our son had been to the Magic Kingdom, and she produced the photos below. Note the different clothing implies at least a two day visit during that year. 

Meanwhile, he has rudely berated me for voting for Trump. 

Do I want this person to write my history? I don't think so.

Steve Keene

Lance,

I bet you have eaten your share of Mezcal worms after adequate lubrication.  Furthemore, I have eaten chocolate ants, fried grasshoppers and escargot.

Hollis Carolyn Heyn

Steve Keene

Lance,

Your downfall is in the preparation.  You want steaks rare or medium rare.  You want moutain oysters and turkey fries well done or extra crisp.

David Cordell

Hollis, you have an older brother, right?

I have always felt that a girl who had an older brother has a much better chance of understanding boys and men.

And a boy who had an older sister? Well, I just feel sorry for him.

Lance, it doesn't take six men to carry an urn. Besides, why men? Maybe I can find six former girlfriends to volunteer to carry my urn.

Or maybe not.

Lowell. Size 13 1/2 shoes ??? I'm glad I never saw you in the community shower at RHS!

David Cordell

Wayne Gary

David,

If you plan on being cremated you can contiue teaching after death by donating your body to UT SW Med School and they will do the cremation free after students use you for pratice.

Steve Keene

Wayne,

David is not too fond of students who cut up in class.

Jerry May

A friend  gave me some wonderful advice about my eye (which is healing slowly) not long ago.

She said it wasn't novel....for she had read it in a book. It was: "The greatest freedom, is the freedom

of NOT needing to know what happens next."

And I think it is applicable to many of the issues going on right now. Fear seems to permeate everything. 

I just need to believe......

On a different note, Ellen and I may have dodged a bullet. Her sister was exposed to a lady who had Covid on the Wednesday before last Saturday; when we saw her. She tested positive this past Wednesday after displaying symptoms Monday.

We tested NEGATIVE yesterday......though we should stay isolated another week or so.

We are grateful......~j