Jerry May
RAOK. Better known as Random Acts of Kindness! Its recently come to my attention both my guys......Matt and Mark have done a couple of things.... I find remarkable. (finding out was something which generally came up in conversation)
Matt, (the older one) has a long time friend who he ran around with at Plano Senior High. They stayed in touch for a long time until theiir lives just went in different directions. About 2-3 months ago J's Mom called Matt and informed him he had 4th stage cancer. And the outlook was poor, but bravely was going through chemo and radiation......but was weakened quite a bit each time he went. So Matt promised his Mom he would go see him. She thought it was wonderful! "You will really lift his spirits!" So Matt phoned him and saw him on a Friday about 6-8 weeks ago, (20 mile drive) J was elated! They hugged and Matt stayed for 6 hours the first time. Since then he has gone every Friday since. (sometimes on a Saturday when J was feeling well enough) Matt said he looked okay except for his color. I said "Matt I'm so proud of you for doing so.......and, renewing your friendship."
A new experimental treatment has been tried on him and oddly he feels much better Sometimes his stamina has picked up a bit. also! Through all this, he's keenly aware this may be just buying him time, but in Matt's words:. "But if a miracle happens we're both ready!"
Mark and I have had our moments in the last year or two......and haven't seen him but two or three times in the last year, but it leaves me NO less proud with love for him.
One of his very best friends going back to first grade; (now 41 years old) worked with him. "M", in the last several years has had health issues with bad habits which left him with peripheral problems such as being 100 lbs overweight! (I think perhaps he had gotten worse over the course of the last year after the family lost their/his mother due to sudden illness). "M" was very close to her, but had had a falling out with the Father for many years.
About two weeks ago Mark asked whoever would listen at work......of his whereabouts, after calling in sick the first two days........he suddenly stopped calling in. By the weekend, after asking each day.....and numerous phone calls, which went unanswered, he now was worried enough to go to his apartment. After many knocks and banging with no answer except his newly adopted dog barking and whimpering....Mark called 911. As they arrived they asked him to get the dog to a neighbor or someone temporarily while they kicked the door in .Mark could see through the entrance "M" was laying half on his bed and half on the floor. The paramedics said, "We;ll take it from here." Thankfully Mark knew a neighbor and asked if they keep the dog, while "M's" conditioned was assesed. (they obliged saying they would as long as needed!)
After working on "M" for what Mark said seemed an eternity......they emerged with "M" on a gurney and ALIVE! Just not conscious. As they loaded him up....they looked at Mark and one said, "Mr May we're going to such and such hospital. Btw, we think he has some kind of closed head injury. Good thing you called us when you did; much longer and..........so thanks for calling us."
By now, Mark had called every family member and close friend and tried as best as he could to describe what had happened.
After being admitted to ICU in critical condition, "M" was not speaking and had to be put on a ventilator.(this was on a Sunday) They induced a coma to go into his head to discover massive hemorrhaging! When this was brought under control he lay there with tubes coming out everywhere! (Mark had asked a nurse who he became friends with....."have you ever seen anyone come out of these?" Her cryptic words were "Yes.....but (they) are never the same."
By Wednesday, "M" miraculously woke up.....and asked "What happened?" They even took him off the ventilator......and he stayed awake for two or three days. But not before he saw all of his friends, brother and his Father whom he had had a strained relationship with the last several years. When his Father heard Mark was the one who had arranged bringing him in.......albeit EMS, many were calling Mark a hero. He asked they not say it, because he felt it could have been anyone. "M's" Father hugged Mark and thanked him over and over.again. I think in their own way they somehow had "made-up" for their fractured relationship. He did fairly well until they had to put him back on the breathing machine late Friday. On Saturday I visited.....and I did speak....but it was evident to me he had taken a severe turn for the worse. I was grateful I saw him....and of course spoke about all the things I could remember about them playing sports together and what a natural athlete he was. I placed my hand over his before leaving.
No surprise to me Mark called the very next evening to reveal he was not responding, and the family had decided in his grave condition to take him off the respirator. It was not said, but "M" was basically able to say goodbye......in those days leading up. Every available organ was harvested, as he was a donor.
Before all this, Mark saw him one last time and reached over and hugged him.....and said, "I love you but go be with your Mom now; she's waiting for her favorite!"
I've drifted long here, but I'm proud of the guys.....and think..."we should not only be grateful, but can learn from our own kids!"
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