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Part V

About 18 months of the loss of our first child, Katherine, was born. Once she hit adolescence I didn't recognize her.

(A caveat: by the grace of God alone Kate grew into a beautiful young woman. Compassionate, athletic, competent and financially independent working and living in Southern California. ) But getting there was a never -ending nightmare. I cried myself to sleep more nights than I didn’t.

Even the best parents, those most devoted and involved are no match for highly sophisticated drug enterprises. No parent can be faulted.

I want to be careful here. I’m keenly aware of parents, good parents, who have lost a child to drugs. To tell you I grieve with them is a profound understatement. At the same time, one time I was badly burned, the parent egregiously distorting my efforts to convey authentic understanding and heartfelt empathy. My penalty: the target of unfounded, malicious gossip.

With realization our only child was spinning out of control, I decided to return to school for a Ph.D. in adolescent psychology. (A few years earlier I returned to school for a post baccalaureate degree in nursing). That’s what Jews do. We collect degrees. Marry well. And hope for the best.

I didn’t want an ordinary doctorate in adolescent psychology. I wanted what I wanted. On the advice of a Plano PD detective who said, “if you really want to understand why and how our country’s adolescents are dying of drug overdoses, get a Ph.D. in adolescent psychology. But find a doctoral program sanctioning a dissertation built on collecting your data among the most violent neighborhoods in south Dallas. You’ll have to go at night.”

I couldn’t. I couldn’t find a university willing to let me design my own program. But here's another thing about Jews. NO ONE gets between a Jewish mother and her baby. Ask Martha Mize Mareth. She taught math at one of Dallas’ elite Jewish private schools. She’ll tell you "Chinese mother’s have nothing on Jewish mothers."

Everyone knows a Jewish mother can arm wrestle a Chinese mother under the table with one hand tied behind her back, at the same time shopping Bergdorf Goodman online for back to school clothes.

Trust I found a doctoral program; my dissertation chair a UT professor; the other professors from leading universities. One of the first on-line doctoral programs whose faculty cut students no slack. I don't know if that's how it works now but at the time, it was ideal for me. To be continued.

01/07/21 12:33 AM

#19851

Addendum:

David,

"I certainly hope that the woman who was shot and killed in the protests wasn't shot by the Capitol Police, or I might have to support defunding the Capitol Police."

Ditto. Count me in.

I should have added, "but I might have to support defunding of any police department responsible for the killing anyone under similar circumstances." Hope that makes sense.

01/07/21 01:42 AM

#19852

Jan,

It's late. I'm so tired I could sleep like a horse, standing up. But anything for you. As promised, I read your post. I'm typing in 14 pt font because b/t my bangs and blearly eyes I can barely see.

What am I going to do with you? You’ve got it all wrong. Nooooo, not the part about Trump and the horrifying scene at the Capital. You’re wrong about the “old farts.”

They are not too smart for you, definitely not smarter. Neither do they have more energy. From what I hear some of them creep around all smirky, suffering the same old delusion thinking they’re still the most popular.

Not David. David gets a pass. David deserves a pass. It took a lot of work. A lot of beating him down. Occasionally yelling at him, but he was worth it.

David has grown into a relatively cool individual his sense of humor markedly intelligent and appreciated, any remnant of hubris effectively debrided. I couldn’t be prouder of the man he is today.

The pack he runs with? Word has it “old farts” might be too generous. Probably is. But that’s a subject for another day. For the time being, every time a little voice tells you the "old farts are smarter...they have more energy," STOP. Instead meditate on something important. Like the attached meme. Nite-nite, dear one.

01/07/21 02:02 AM

#19853

And Steve, my darling Steve,

Couldn't go to bed without telling you, I agree. I agree with you and your post.

You're coming along, dear one. Haven't had the time to whip you into shape. David was a lot of work. But as you can see he's a whole new man. Instinctively I know you, too, are worth the effort.

Similar to David, I know it can't be easy, having some little pip-squeak, especially a woman pip-squeak, nipping at your heels, ready to pounce on any teeny-tiny infraction, deserved or not. But you boys had the run of the place for too long. The boys club is over.

Take it as a compliment, my affection for you. Along with it, plucking you from among the RHS, "old farts," selecting you as one of the few men worthy of rehabiliation. Love you Steve.

01/07/21 02:34 AM

#19854

Holly,

I think it was on the other forum that I told you I love to hear your perspective when I can read it in three of four paragraphs. What part of three or four paragraphs didn't you understand?

01/07/21 02:46 AM

#19855

Steve, honey.

Posting for Wayne, a man genteel and kind. . Oh dear, looks like you're gonn'a take more work than I thought. Don't worry. I'll get you there. Go to bed. And don't forget to brush your teeth and floss.

01/07/21 07:34 AM

#19856

Wayne,

I think I have been asleep at the Covid-19 wheel. I just realized that I can register in Collin County to get on the waitlist for vaccinations. So, I registered last night and was given the number 58479. I'm not sure what that number means. Maybe it is my current place in line, or maybe it is some other code. It doesn't have a comma. Don't know if that's significant. The registration form asked if I was registering for the first or second shot, so I guess that means they are using the Pfizer-BioNTech version.

01/07/21 08:10 AM

#19857

Wayne Gary

Holly,

You have lead a very interesting life. I did not fall asleep this morning. You did not say what you are doing now. It does not appear you have retired.

I will make my bio brief. After graduating from A&M in went into selling oilfield pumps. changed jobs 2 times. Met a wonderful woman that I married who came down with MS and died of it after 10 yrs of marrage. Did not like being single and found a second wonderful woman I married and she has managed to put up with me for 26 1/2yrs. Went into semi-retirement in april with only dealing with City of Dallas.

01/07/21 08:15 AM

#19858

Wayne Gary

David,

Both the Maderna and Pfiizer require 2 doses. Maderna is 4 weeks apart and Physer is 3 weeks apart. Cannot mix them. I ham in the Maderna trial and got the vaccine last fall. They will continue following me for 2 years in order to determine long term effectivness. They do not know if yu will need to get booster shots. Maderna requires to be stored at -8 degrees F(normal freezer temp for most vaccines) Pfizer requires -80F.

01/07/21 08:18 AM

#19859

Wayne Gary

I thing the charging of the Capitol was wrong. My only comment is where were the Dems and Biden during the protests, riots and cating over cities during the summer/

01/07/21 09:48 AM

#19860

Jan Alexander

Quite frankly, I am surprised there were not more causalties… The term Patriots means, “a person who vigorously supports their country and is prepared to defend it against enemies or detractors.

Many of the rioters called themselves, “Patriots” and they came to the White house with chemical irritants, pipe bombs , guns and one cooler from a vehicle had a long gun and Moloto cocktail on the Capital grounds.

Most in the crowd yesterday weren’t there to peacefully protest. They came to take over the White House.

We all of sound mind, in both parties , know that the ones in all the 2020 riots that looted and terrorized are just a small groups of demented individuals in American. They don’t represent the beliefs of most of us , including these forums.. Neither , Republicans nor Democrats condone this behavior. These are people on the extreme outer limits of wackos.

01/07/21 10:34 AM

#19861

Jan,

Reflections on the past four years. In my opinion we were all going through the motions of believing our news anchors, trusting our government's intent and living fruitful uneventful lives secure in our ignorance. Suddenly we found ourselves faced with electing someone that was so obviously a crook in Hillary Clinton that the whole country would have had to throw up before pulling the lever with her name. We decided it was best to elect a complete non politician businessman who had a reputation for getting things done and who spoke a language that most of us in the middle of the country found they resonated with.

When Donald Trump got to office he began to expose what was really going on and middle America was shocked. We found ourselves talking about politics all the time and seeing what our friends thought about each situation that arose. The truly guilty had to do everything in their power to expose Trump as a fraud to shut him up before the country awoke. There were a great many liberals who either knew how bad things were, or were more likely dulled to the steady drone of the misinformation being fed them by their leaders and their coconspirators, the Hollywood crowd and the media.

Trump showed us how deep the swamp in Washington really was. Republican swamp dwellers and Democrat swamp dwellers alike tried to throw wrenches in his agenda, but the Republicans swamp dwellers finally decided they better get on board or they risked losing their gravy train along with the Democrats. The trouble was, the Democrats finally decided that to keep themselves out of jail they had to lie, cheat and steal to gain back the former status quo. As you can see, the Republican swamp dwellers awaited their chance to abandon Trump so they could go back to business as usual. They did that this week.

The sad commentary on these proceedings is that the American people really never had a chance. The swamp was too deep and the swamp creatures were too well insulated for any meaningful change to be made. We can now expect a continuation of an erosion of our liberties and rights, the elimination of the middle class leaving only the rich connected or the poor on welfare grovelling for the scraps left to keep them satiated with their meager day to day ability to feed themselves and wonder why they can never get ahead.

Smart guys like David, Tommy, Hull, myself and many others will be able to figure enough ways to game the system. If your kids are smart, connected and privately educated they will be able to do the same. Woe to the poor, the minorities, the immigrants and the uneducated. They will continue to be the slaves of the Swamp and never realize their plight. The vast majority of Americans will collect their paychecks and sit home fat, dumb and happy watching tv geared to indoctrinate them into the party line and will never know they have been scammed.

01/07/21 10:41 AM

#19862

Jan Alexander

Addendum

I couldn’t believe the level headedness of the Capital police and how they maintained and de escalated the mood of the wackos for so long as they waited and waited and waited for backup.

These patriots knew the ramifications of what could happen with battle.

( I haven't read Steve's post to me )

01/07/21 11:50 AM

#19863

Bob Davidson

David,

I was in Silber's class that semester -- in the breakout group with Donna Bate and Steve Alford.

"John, I have to get rid of you because you scare the hell out of the incompetents above you," Erwin supposedly told Silber when he fired him. Remember the big Life Magazine cover article about Silber and how he turned down the presidency of Stanford to go to BU because it was more of a challenge? He took his assistant dean Bill Bennett and William Arrowsmith the classicist with him to Boston.

Nancy's dad said that Silber unnerved the other tennis players by balancing the ball on his stump, then flipping it up so he could serve. He was famous as the one-armed varsity tennis player at the time.

Silber and I had a bit of a blow up in his office in the West Mall Office Building in the floor above the Plan II office. There was an arithmetic error in the grading of my final exam -- it was obviously subtracted wrong and made the difference between a B and a C. I went to the TA to complain, and he said he couldn't do anything since my exam was one of the random ones Silber himself graded so I had to make an appointment to talk to him. He had refused to move out ot the dean's office when they abolished the college of arts and sciences (which they did to avoid actually firing him -- Ronnie Duggar's pro-Silber book Our Invaded Universities went into excruciating detail about how Erwin and some members of the English Department were offended by Silber's efforts to create a 'Yale on the Colorado" at UT and decided to get rid of him.).

In the huge, imposing office, I told Silber that he'd made a mistake grading my exam. He reacted with a raised voice, then told me how it was a totally fair exam, how he was sick of students whining about the grading, and several of the TAs had made Bs when they took it. I had been intimidated before that, but his attitude absolutely infuriated me -- I told him that I didn't give a crap about the contents, he'd just made a stupid clerical mistake. He took offense to the word "stupid" and came around the desk, red-faced, and pushed me out the door, and slammed it in my face.

I went downstairs and told Ms Moss what had happened. She basially blew me off, said everyone was complaining about that exam, and told me I could appeal to the chairman of the philosophy department if I wanted. I immediately over to see Professor Lieb, the Philosophy chairman. When I showed him the paper and explained the error and what had happened, he made a note, and said, "I'll talk to Dean Silber, but I'm not making any promises." Nothing happened. Later I found out that Lieb and Silber were roomates in graduate school and that Silber had hired Lieb away from Yale to come to UT.

Later I told one of my favorite English professors about what happened. He said that when he was hired, they had promised him a certain salary, and, after he moved his family to Austin, the contract Silber presented him was for $1000 per year less -- not a huge amount, but still a slap in the face. He told Silber that he felt he'd been lied to -- Silber was offended at being called a "liar" and came around the desk the same way he did to me before he shoved him out of the office and slammed that giant wooden door. He was sol on the salary. He was one of the profs who lobbied Erwin to get rid of Silber.

Professor Mackey was so, so much nicer than Silber.

01/07/21 11:51 AM

#19864

Janalu,

The liberals are right. The Republican protestors really are ignorant. They rioted and did not even get any big screen televisions.

01/07/21 11:56 AM

#19865

Bob Davidson

Re Trump -- it occurred to me that the reason the establishment Never-Trumper Republicans and the Dems hate him so much is that he misunderstood how things work in the Swamp. It's like the Washington Generals hired Michael Jordan and forgot to tell him that the Globetrotters are always supposed to win, no matter what.

01/07/21 12:34 PM

#19866

Bob D.,

That's a weird story about you and Silber. What an ego he had. But funny how you ended up on the wrong side of both Erwin and Silber. Hmmm.

Do recall in class when Silber excoriated someone for his "stupid" idea, then tried to walk it back by saying, "I don't mean that you are stupid, but your idea is stupid"? Oh, OK. I feel so much better!

Of course, he ruffled faculty feathers at Boston University also. They hated him. But, he did improve the academic standing of BU by a lot.

01/07/21 12:52 PM

#19867

I ask for your prayers for Martha's nephew, Scott. His brother Brad sent us this note.

Unfortunately, I have some information to share with you that is on a more serious note about my brother Scott. Scott contracted Covid a little bit before Thanksgiving and it got progressively worse in mid December. He was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia and received treatment for a week or so and was discharged. He then got worse and was readmitted 2 days after discharge, on Christmas day. Thoughts were that he would soon be better and discharged, but he did not respond to additional treatment. He wasn’t getting worse or better. Due to the lack of improvement, and the continued strain that Scott was going through with trying to expand his lungs, he underwent voluntary intubation this past Sunday. At this time, he is still on a ventilator and his condition has improved some, but there is no clear date on when he will be taken off of the ventilator. He received stem cell treatment yesterday, and hopefully that helps. I will let everyone know when Scott has come off of the ventilator. I am not concerned that his condition will worsen. I believe that the doctors are simply waiting for his lungs to clear up a bit and his body to strengthen a bit so he can breathe easy once he is off the ventilator.

01/07/21 01:02 PM

#19868

Janalu Jeanes (Parchman)

Steve,

I agree completely with your post #21031. I was so depressed yesterday after hearing that we Republicans have successfully been eliminated from ever having any power again in United States government, (the Dems have finally "neutered" the evil Repubs) and the knowing of the Socialist Marxists here, to have followed the teachings of RULES FOR RADICALS long enough (since Hillary and Bill entered the Oval) so that now they have fulfilled the irony of that book's dedication. The book was dedicated to Lucifer, and the followers of the book's principles have led us all to Lucifer's ultimate dream; the takeover of America's purpose. America was "the last best hope," according to Abraham Lincoln, the best president we ever had, alongside George Washington. When I think of Washington, I always picture in my mind the painting of him kneeling on his knees beside his horse, asking 'The Almighty' for strength and guidance to proceed with the unbelievably daunting task ahead. ("The Prayer at Valley Forge," by A. Friberg)

I feel that we need to get down on our knees too, since that is all we have left. We are fully at His mercy, knowing that His will WILL be done, and what will happen to our country is out of our hands. I hope He will give us a way to survive this madness, as we have been consumed in the same way Rome was consumed, and as was predicted for many years now.

It is amazing that there are SO many in our society that are rejoicing at this moment with the giddiness that THE GREAT SATAN has been eliminated from Washington DC, and with the Democrats' complete control of government, they now have achieved a one party system.....and they do not realize what they actually have doomed our "GREAT EXPERIMENT," to, our beautifully conceived nation's new government of totalitarianism, essentially. They, in their lack of knowledge of its divine founding, have truly "screwed the pooch," as the saying goes. Now that saying, unfortunately, will actually be SOMETHING they'll be able to understand! Sorry I said it that way, but it seems fitting, don't you agree?

Please Dear Father, show us Your Way, as we are totally at Your mercy. We are so truly sorry we failed to keep our beautiful America as it was founded to be, "the last best hope."

I was listening to Larry Taunton talk to Eric Metaxas last night, as he told of his son's attending Yale University, then graduating about nine years ago. His son is now a practicing attorney, revealing that a main focus at Yale during his years there, were years of his hearing from all of his professors, that "they should be advised of the fact that Christianity was slowly being phased out of its existence in American society." The Yale professors were saying it was inevitable, and was definitely a fact that should figure into graduating senior's future plans, as something important for them to know. Apparently to these professors, THAT fact was already written in stone, and should influence student's plans as to how they determined their futures.

Incredible!

01/07/21 01:23 PM

#19869

Janalu Jeanes (Parchman)

David,

Will keep Martha's nephew in my prayers.

Hopefully, he is young enough to be able to rally and regain his strength.

01/07/21 03:33 PM

#19870

David and Martha,

I, too, will put Scott on the prayer list. I hope he has a miraculous recovery.

Something you said in an earlier post struck a chord with me. You said you and Martha turned off the politics and went in and enjoyed an old movie. When the country's betrayal of Trump and the middle class became apparent, I did exactly the same thing. I had to after seeing Fox news and Newsmax pile on Trump after realizing their bread could only be buttered from the other side. I watched "Little Lord Fauntleroy" from David O.Selznick Studios which was their most popular film until the making of "Gone with the Wind." It starred Freddie Bartholomew, Delores Costello Barrymore and Mickey Rooney among others. What a delight it was, and revealed how an innocent boy that cared about others could turn the hearts of the meanest miserly old skinflints of this world. Christianity and the Church of England faith played a vital part in the movie.

By the way, I predict Fox news' ratings which were 55% compared to the total of the other mainstream networks will go straight into the toilet and approach the audience CNN enjoys. I won't even watch Tucker, Hannity or Watters, the saving graces, on there anymore. If they want my viewership they are going to have to change stations.

01/07/21 03:48 PM

#19871

Thanks, Janalu.

Steve, thanks, too. I have seen Little Lord Fauntleroy several times over the years. You might enjoy Lloyds of London, which also features Freddy Bartholomew, who grows up to be the very handsome Tyrone Power! It sounds like it is all about insurance, and that is an important aspect, but with Lord Nelson and Trafalgar thrown in. Available for free on Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPrTrVe6XlU&t=3631s

Separately, in the category "This too shall pass" ...

In spite of yesterday's assault on the Capitol, the Standard & Poors 500 stock index rose by almost 1.5 percent today. Who'd a' thunk it?? Hmmm. Let's see -- cause-and-effect. Hmmm. Maybe that the mob will attack the Supreme Court building tonight, and maybe hit the Department of Education and all the other bureaucracies, one per day. If the trend continues, in a couple of weeks I might be able to buy that villa in Tuscany.

01/07/21 04:49 PM

#19872

Wayne,

Apologies for my lengthy posts.

Confession: from these forums is inspiration for writing, most of which is modified for my blog, this one included. NEVER is any real person identified in my writing for the public. Neither do I, or have I, published under my real name. I have no control over the privacy and security of either forum, but anything or anyone I write will never be identifiable.

The ongoing Sue Daly investigation will not be played out on either forum. If at all, the story fictionalized on a larger platform.

Despite my atrocious language, God is my everything. He is first. We've made a deal about my swearing. I sense God saying, "look. I have enough on my hands. Swear if you must. But only on occasion. If that's your worst sin, I'll see you when you get here."

I like you, Wayne. I read your posts through the eyes of a journalist. I ~~don't~~, can't do that with everyone. Some people emanate an authenticity too compelling to ignore. Your's is one of them.

It’s been a little over 10 years that Martha Mize Mareth conned me into reconnecting with RHS classmates, after which I began to reconnect after which I reconnected with other classmates, among them those who neither read or contribute to either forum, instead through classmates who cut/pasted and emailed from the forums.

Over time came stories with stinging memory of denigration, humiliation and invisibility at the hand of classmates throughout high school. I began to see a pattern. My heart broke with upon realization of classmates abused by a fellow classmate, long ago. Only a tone-deaf jerk would say, “get over it. You’ve been a grown-up a long time.”

Lost on those believing a long-time friend, also a classmate, can be trusted not to repeat something shared among close friends only, in failure to figure out at least one of them isn't so trustworthy after all. Coupled with high speed technology where gossip travels faster than a ta Blackbird SR-71 can fly, the end result is palpable pain inflicted on an innocent party. Along with it, proof of an old pattern that needs to end. Will it? No, of course not.

Toxic people are everywhere. Blessedly the overwhelming majority of our classsmates are antithetical to toxic. People humanly flawed; good people but not so good they bore us to death. We want to be among people who light the way. Lift up and encourage. Who don't hide behind meanness with "I was only joking." People who catch us when we fall. People capable of reading our words trying to understand the person behind them.

We want to be among those who make us laugh when we feel like crying. People who don't take themselves too seriously. Those who help cushion life’s devastating blows. People trustworthy of our thoughts. People who love easily, unconditionally and without criterion. Those who hold us accountable, in heartfelt effort to make us better.

We want to be among those who do not know how to hold a grudge. Who easily forgive easily, knowing there will never be an apology. Among people who say “I love you”without first calculating the minutes, days, hours, weeks, months and years we've known them--fearful of wasting the words on someone who might not be loveable after all. We want to be among classmates whose presence in each other’s lives is a blessing.

They're out there. Lots and lots of them.. Right here. Among our classmates, they're all around us. We just have to find them. Then do our part to hold onto them forever.

Thank you for your presence in my life, Wayne.

01/07/21 05:08 PM

#19873

Holly,

I don't want to point out your errors, but when God is involved I feel like I don't have much choice. You have said that you got a sense from God that He has too much on His Hands to worry about your cussing and if that is your biggest problem, He will be waiting for you when you get there. Look, you have just told the world that God does not have time to deal with the little things. That is just wrong and is a much greater sin than your cussing. God is God and He can deal with everything anytime, all the time and any place. No person's place in this world is so insignificant that God doesn't have His eye on it. The Bible clearly states that He knows the number of hairs on your head. (Luke 12:7). Take a few minutes each day and read some of God's word while you are exfoliating or flossing. Love you or I would not bother to set you straight.

Steve

01/07/21 06:01 PM

#19874